Marriage Q&A With Pastor Sean & Diane - Relationship Goals

0:06 Welcome to another inspirational podcast at Real Life, Church for more great content and updates, visit Real Life Church, kc.com. Good morning and welcome to Real Life Church. Good, get on your feet whether you're with us here at can Chucky true or you are joining us online. We are so pumped, just to worship. God big with you today. I can't count the times. I've called your name, some bulking life and you showed up patch me up like you do every time I get I forgiven you keep coming around. Ain't no way you ever let me down. Good God almighty.

1:13 I'm no matter what keep raising your name at the top of my love? Tell me. Is he good? He's good to me. Easy, guys. Got good God Almighty, you see? Say your love goes on forever that you ever seen ever stops. So why would I, I know you're gonna be there every day. So hold on, Earth.

2:05 Good God almighty. The top of my love, tell me. Is he go? He's gonna show me what he got. Good God. All my crazy little more degrees immunity time reason when the Sun goes down.

2:47 Love them in the morning. Love lemonade lover when the Sun goes down. Good God almighty.

3:29 Jesus. Jesus. Jesus, when the Sun goes down, Jesus in the morning, Jesus, in the name of Jesus, when the Sun goes down. Amen. Give him some praise. He's good this morning and we keep singing and celebrating our God. Who provides Honey in the Rock water in the stone on the ground. No matter where I go, I don't need to worry now. Everything. I need. You've got this honey. Brave thirsty for the living world. Holy you can satisfy sweetness at The Mercy Seat. Now I taste it.

4:30 It's not hard to see. Only you can satisfy there's Honey in the Rock. Is Honey in the Rock. There's honey in the Honey in the Rock freedom.

6:54 Water in the stone made on the ground, no matter where I go, and I don't need to worry. Sweetie.

7:45 So tries to you, Jesus. You won't realize. Well, welcome to the house. Today is something very special. We were doing a child dedication Sunday and you guys can be see it just for a moment here. And if we get an opportunity to really dedicate these families, these parents and his children back to God, our children are a Heritage from the Lord.

8:30 God has given us our kids, and one of the greatest things that God can do in life is if we can Stewart our children. And so today we get to blessing of really honor these families Families. Get Behind these families, love on these families. In the finals of the Bible were a hand. It gives back, same will to God. It's a gift from God. But also find this as more than just a parent and a child, it's a whole family to Jesus. And so you find some Joshua and it's so powerful is found in Joshua 24. It says this, it says, now, fear the lord and serve him with all faithfulness, you fear, God, serve god with everything in your being. You put Jesus at the center of your family. Family says, throw away the gods, your ancestors, worshiped beyond the Euphrates, river and images, your throw away, all the, all the gods of the Earth, all the gods will around all things we worship. Besides Jesus.

9:21 He says in serve the Lord sort of the one true God. So the God above all gods, the name of all maze. Put Jesus at the center of your family and Let Jesus changed the culture of your heart and your in transforming our children. But he says this in verse 15, both serve. The Lord seems undesirable to you than what help me out then. Then choose choose for yourself this day. Whom you will serve whether the gods, our ancestors served on the afraid, he's or the gods of the amorites, in whose lands, you are living your going to serve the God of this culture, the gods around you, the gods of all the things are going to serve the one true Living God. But Joshua says this. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

10:02 Amen. And today these families coming up, but they have chosen. Now they've made the decision that Rupert Jesus, right. The Order of our relationships. We want these to be God's children. I'm going to raise my family, but these are God's and our goals that he will change for Jesus. Their hearts be transformed by Jesus. They know Jesus and that we model for them was to be, but it's we follow Jesus and our lives. That's our calling as a dad. And a mom has families and us as a church. Amen. So they, they have made that decision and this is the response of the people that Josh was talking to Justin. The people answered far, be it from us to forsake the Lord, to serve other gods. I love this verse 17. It was the Lord It was a lord, Our God himself who brought us and our parents out of Egypt, to the land of slavery and performed. The Great Signs of her eyes.

10:49 He protected us their entire journey and among all the nations there. What you traveled? And the Lord drove out before us all the nations, including the amorites, who lived in the lands. And we too will serve the Lord because he is our God, I love that. It was the Lord. And that's a story. Get here of these families, it was the Lord that rescued These parents it was a Lord that protected their families as Lord that brought them to this moment. There's a Lord that change them and transform them as the Lord that brought people into their path, to do this very moment that they could say, you know what, Jesus is the center of our family. So this is something that we have to go through the motion on. This is something we believe deeply in and you get a chance to hear their stories and what God has done their family and this really testimony.

11:31 That it was the Lord, some have Holly come up and she's going to share their stories and I want you guys just to give praise to God for they're doing as I come up here on the stage. Age love, never behind him and love him. Amen. Love it. Come on. Give it up. Here we go. All right. First up, we have the Wilson family. He want to make your way up to the stage, here they come. All right. Well, they are dedicating lame, Jagger Wilson. He was born, July 3rd 2022. These are his parents Gavin, and Mary Wilson, when asked what specifically LED you to dedicate your child?

12:16 I said, Gavin married. Grew up on believing in God but not dedicated to a church and they want Lane to love and live with God Lane has their first child and they want him to know God. We ask what was significant about Lanes. Named Lanes. Name came from Lane Frost, the bull rider Jagger was a unique name. Both Mary and Gavin. Loved from the early stages of pregnancy. What is something unique about lane lane? Has the biggest smile? He is so happy all of the time, his little giggles are so infectious. We also asked what are a few things that we can be praying specifically for you and your child, they asked for prayers for health, for happiness, and for financial wisdom as laying gross. Let's give it up for the lane one more time. All right.

13:05 Next, we have the Burt family because want to make your way up to the stage. All right they are dedicating Jameson and jayven first. We've got Jameson Keith Bert, it was born, January 19th, 2017. These are his parents John and Jenni Burt when asked specifically what led them to dedicate their boys. I said we want to introduce Jesus and our children's life at a young age so that they might grow a great Bond. With our Lord and savior something significant about James Jameson's name.

13:48 They said we just liked it. Jonathan good. I love that. Pick one out of the baby book but what something unique about Jameson, he's a bit corny and has a little bit of a rough side but he's really passionate about God and Jesus then we have Javen, Michael Birch, born September 26, 2019. Same for Jason's name. They just loved the name. Decided to choose that one but something unique about him is that he is our Wild Child. Old ball of energy and we would love to convert his energy into a love for our Lord and Savior. Jesus Christ, a few specific things. We can be praying for them and their boys as for health, for safety and a passion for the Lord, as they grow. Let's give it up for the Burt family. I love it.

14:35 Next, we have the hosted family. Here they come. All right. Today, they're dedicating, Connor read ho sik, Haley, Lucille. Ho stick and Lila Jane. Oh sick. First up, we've got Connor. He was born, June 9th, 2013. These are his parents, Eddie and Mindy hosting. What specifically LED them to dedicate their kiddos today? Because we've been a part of real life for almost a year. Now, in our lives have never been better. We want our kids to see how important their faith is how amazing their God is. And we want them to see how much they are loved by our church family as well, something significant about Connors named Conor means lover of wolves / Hunter and read means red-haired.

15:21 That's a strong. That's a strong name. Something unique about Connor. Connor is a very motional and apathetic Kiddo. He is quick to act when it comes to helping then we have Hayley Lucille, ho sik. She was born April 14th 2014. Something significant about Haley's name. It means Meadow and her middle name. Lucille is a combination of her great grandma's name. Something unique about Hayley, Hayley is a very determined little lady and she is the one to look out for the kids who are Outsiders and make sure that they feel like they are accepted and included. Lastly we've got Lila Jane ho sik. She was born November 14th, 2017 Lila's something significant about the named Lila Lila means night and Jane means, god is gracious, it's also her deceased great-grandma's middle name.

16:08 Something unique about Leila Leila is such a wild Spirit. She loves to dance to the beat of Her Own Drum. She also already knows she loves her God. She's always the first to volunteer to pray. A few specific things. They asked. We prayed for over them and their kiddos. They want them to have a spiritual hunger, a sense of an intimate belonging and for their deepest struggles, to be redeemed. They also want them just to have a compassionate world view as they grow. Let's give it up for all of these families that shows to dedicate their kid us today. This is a very significant moment and I know you guys have gone through so much, the got just done so much in your life to get here, What the Lord Has Done, Right? And it's amazing to see the story of the Gods riding in each of you.

17:00 And today we need to take a special time of prayer that we're just not behind you, but for you and this is your family as well. And so, what we'll do is invite you guys to stains the church, get on your feet. We are going to Basically worship a song over them, but we're gonna pray over him and this is a little different. Some people kind of feel weird about it but this is our time as a church to say we're behind you and we sing the song called the blessing and it's really about praying something special, someone else's life and the song of so applicable to the generations that are in front of us, it's all in do as a church is for you guys to actively engage in this song. To see there's stories, maybe you don't know them. But if you know them, you know, some of the struggles of stories and they've taken ground from Satan to get to this point and then Their struggles that people have, you know, that exist.

17:47 And so too for us, the church is to put our hands up and look at these people. And just say, God used them play breasting on them. And this is just a moment for you guys to participate in this. And so I would encourage you not to just sit back but to really pray and imagine what God can do in this family and this is significant for the future of their kids. This change the course of the generations. And so Paul says you raise a child in the way he should go, his partner was, he gets older ones apart from it, and this is a good moment. For them to say no as for no house or fall in the Lord. And so let's get behind that. Let's love on them. To give them more time. Is dying starts with song off. Come on. So we sing the song, The Blessing during our child dedication moments because these words come right out of a passage in numbers when God was setting up the temple and how they worshipped and he promised the priest in the temple. That if you pray, these words over the people, every time they leave the worship, I will be with them. And so, that's our prayer today, as a church is that not only we want, you know, these parents dedicated. We want our church to be dedicated to helping these little ones grow up and God help these families do all that we can.

18:51 But then also, Also we want the blessings of God that he promises to say that if I am going to be having these words over these people than that blessing will come to their life. So I'd like to invite you, you can lift up your hands to pray over them and just take this moment of really when you're saying these words of this song Today, pray this as a prayer over these families today so I'd like to invite you guys to sing. Lord bless you and keep you make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

19:59 The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you.

20:43 And I'll men just means that we agree. and I,

27:35 Come on. And how exciting? Well, the Bible says, unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers, labor in vain. So we're praying, may God is in this guy's for you and just trusting the Lord. Let me take you all the steps away in our church behind you. Amen, love you guys. So give it up one more time for our families today. Come on. Cool man, I don't know if it gets much better than that just to come together and just pray over these awesome, young families and just see their boldness of faith and just knowing that story for these awesome kids on stage is starting now. And I also love the flip side of that, the challenge that we have to say that we're going to stand behind them and we are going to push them forward.

28:29 Faith and so I don't know, I think someone needs to get excited for what God's going to do in these families. Say let's give a big for God today man, awesome. Guys, I am honored. We at real-life Shore just honored that you're here today. I want to take a quick moment to recognize a group of people also here with us today that are called real life Church online and I would just love. We could just take a quick second for them to hear you and welcome this morning. Let's give it up for Real Life, Church online and welcome them. Love having you guys here with us. Hey everyone, here at Katie. So puncture here, we look around we, you find someone. Maybe someone you don't even know and greet, someone make the people in your Section feel. Welcome, make a connection and then have a seat. Awesome while they're making that connection. I want to take a moment and welcome any and everyone who's brand-new Surreal Life church this morning. I want to say welcome home.

29:29 We believe you're here on purpose and for purpose. And we are just honored to have you as our special guest this week. And I'd love to give you some action steps to take right now. One of the things you could do is get your phone out, you could text RL new to 97,000. There's also a QR code on the seat back in front of you. Open up your Camera, app, scan that. And you can take care of that as well. And fill out our digital communication card, and that's just a chance for you to find out some answers. You might have about real-life church or some questions. I should say answers to questions, would be a better way of saying that about real life church and we just want to just get to know. You hear your story and find out. How can we be praying for you this week? Maybe this isn't your first Sunday, but maybe you've never taken a moment to visit our new here Booth. I want to invite you to go ahead and do that this morning. If you haven't, we would love to hear your story face-to-face. Put a name to a face and we do have a small gift for you just as our way of again of saying.

30:28 Thank you so much for spending part of your weekend with us at Real Life Church. Well guys, the reason that we even exist, the reason that all this gets set up and tore down every week. The reason that we put on the event, every Sunday is simple. Souls matter to God. That's 100% what this is all about. And we have a mission. Shin that basically sums out of we exist here at real life to see people far from God, discover their real life and purpose in Jesus. And that's what it's all about. That's what makes all of the work. The effort, the time worth it. It's not just about an empty number.

31:08 It's about the soul that's connected to that number. The soul that sits in every one of these chairs, God is for you today. And I just want to take a moment. Moment and say thanks and give a shout out to everybody, that's just been inviting out people over these last several weeks, man. God is honoring that and souls are being changed. Lives are being changed right here because of you and your faithfulness. So let's just keep moving that mission forward each and every week at Real Life Church. Well, guys, we've been on this awesome series. That's awesome. Kick these last several weeks about relationships, really, just diving into that idea that relationships are. Much deeper than the snapshot we post on social media, right? It's so much deeper than that.

31:55 A relationship that's built on the foundation of God. When the Lord is in it, that's the relationship that's going to last. And so, what I want to do today is I want to mix things up a little bit. I want to invite Pastor Sean, and Diane to come up to the stage for a special Q&A session. And let's just say, we're going to put the real and real life this morning. He's that sound good to you. So yeah you guys were challenged to put in some questions. We're going to dive in. We're going to put them on the hot seat today and we're going to find out just some real practical tips from from a couple who's been in the game for a while, they've got some wisdom to share with us today. So will you welcome Pastor, Sean and Diane, as we get into this real-life Q&A.

32:41 Come on. Make them feel welcome. You guys nervous? I'm not nervous at all, man, we just appreciate your guys as heart for being on the hot seat today. I could imagine that it could be a little bit uncomfortable a little bit nerve-racking. Yeah, way to go, man. Thanks Lane. I can imagine, you know, spilling the tea as the kids say about your long relationship could be a little bit nerve-wracking. Maybe, you know, I know that some questions came in this week and man, You probably know more than anybody else when you open up the floor to just general questions at you never know what you're going to get, right?

33:26 So truth, I love it. So I'm excited to dive in but before we do that just a little bit, if you don't know a little bit about their story. So Sean and Diane kind of, kind of the typical Highschool sweethearts - the sweetheart, they were friends, kind of ran in the same friend group back in Raytown, not Rea more Raytown. So the other side of the tracks, keep it real. You want to represent anybody or Shout out. I'm sorry. No hahaha. Shout-out retail holler. Hi, there you go. That's awesome. They, they've got three little ones at home, just three bundles of Joy. Just absolute blessings. And what's really cool before that, they were called early on, in their marriage to Foster you guys were called to Foster, some, some young adults and they actually have an adopted 28 year old granddaughter. So you guys don't look a day over, 30 daughter. But close, what's that daughter?

34:18 What did I say? Jen daughter, great. Well, she's Grand. She's really she's real swell. She's a neat gal and that was my grandpa's a gun. We'll get into that in a minute. Weird goddaughter. My apologies, but it's really cool and really, and I think you guys probably have you been here with us any length of time, know they have a heart for people. They have a heart to not only launch this church, reach the community, just new churches, reach new people, right? They had a heart just to settle here and Ray Moore. And and just bless this community and what's really cool is beyond that is they have a heart for marriages and relationships. And these guys have just counseled so many people, their fingerprints are on so many. Just general relationship stories in this room and the next Gathering and Beyond they've touched. So many people with just their wisdom, they've lived it. That's what's really cool.

35:15 We're going to find out today, you know, they've been in the trenches so they've got a that What about healthy marriages? So like I said before we've been building up some questions here and my first question. Are you guys ready? I don't know. Let's do it. Oh I promise I promise we're going to we're going to take it easy on your gonna get real but it's not going to be crazy. All right, this first questions to the both of you, all right, so this is an all-skate for you guys and it says this, I like my Sean isms. They're all skate to learn from watching, you, Dad. All right, this was shot at Diana. Says you guys have been married? For 15 years, I want you to go all the way back before. You said I do back when you were dating what were some keys that you learned or had in place the set your marriage up for that happily ever after success that made a big difference for lasting marriage today We remember that time, huh?

36:09 Yeah, distant memory. No, I heard yes, this is Sean. Drew clearly the comic relief of today. Not me, it's okay but I can say for me I think there's a few things like one is that we got to be friends first and I know not everybody has that ability or the timing of the relationship but that was really important for us. Once you like add the romance into it, like we were already friends. We already knew each other, we already knew how to communicate and some ways we already were connected. Friends, will talk more about communication later, but the second one I think is really key. Is that at that time in our life when we did, like start dating we were, you know, later in the college, not in high school, but we were both pursuing God on our own. We both had felt like we were called to do something big for God and it wasn't like, oh, let me wait around to see what Shawn thinks or what Sean's going to do or, you know, I wasn't building my future with God on him. I was building my future with God on God, and whatever God called me to do.

37:03 There's actually a really funny story when Sean was going to propose to me and I didn't know it yet. I had accepted a job in Chicago. We were long distance for a long time and I was like cool piece. You know where I'll be like if you need to catch up or whatever, but I was just like carrying on with what God was calling me to do until that time, when like our lives merged together. So yeah, it's just kind of funny and the Lord had different plans. Yeah. And then ultimately, what brought us together is realizing that will to be on Mission together? Like I could look at Sean and his passion for God and look to say, like I know that God can do more through us together than he can do with a. And so that underlying Unity made it so that we could come together and serve God so way back when dating? Yeah, talking about Keys things that we learned. And I would say, first of all, we weren't perfect, we don't be inherently Keys.

37:57 Yeah, we learned, right? So some things, we learned some things, we've kind of had going for us. One things that worked out. We dated long distance for man, three and a half years. It's pretty much yeah, longer three and a half years and so it kept snotlout trouble, come on somebody, that's, that's the blessing of being 60 miles away, right? And this back, when you had a cell phone, we had to be in the right spot in the dorm, you know, to even getting signal as a press against the back door for four years, you know. But the reality is, there's four things are really a blessing for us. One is you have to know each other outside of physically, which I think a lot of relationships kind of gets stale. Like they just get stuck right there. They start doing stuff outside of where Louis. It's like fire, you know, it's like it's awesome when it's in its right place.

38:40 But super destructive when it's not. And what happens? You just you get to know somebody's body but you don't get to know anything really else and so you don't really get to go deeper spiritually or character, or their call and passion. So we kind of had the blessing. He had to spend a lot of time. Dino is jokes around. She goes, if we were closer and you know a new you little more at home, I probably would never married you haha. So that was those big I think for us like seeing her Pursuit Of God, I mean I think you want to marry somebody That's passionate about God, they're pursuing God on their own and in just as much, if not more than you, you're just chasing that. And for me like I realized, I ain't like she was real serious about following God. A lot of people just talk about it and they show up on Sundays and stuff, but they're really not fighting for it, you know, and I noticed in college, she went off and she didn't like a Nursing degree and three years taking extra classes.

39:30 And it was pretty rigorous kind of study and she'd work as a CNA overnights and is working out. Only hours a week or more and so overnight should work in the Gulf of Saturday or Sunday more like 6 a.m. it's you drive the church and she sleep in the parking lot so that she could get up and serve kids in a lot of program and a elementary-aged program and then go to church and do it every single Sunday for years. And so for me like that was like, ding ding, ding, right? Like she wants something from God. She wants to pursue God. And so that was really big for me. I just kind of ring the bell, right? And I think to is just, yeah, that's the question. Am I marrying somebody because it helps me pursue the things of God, more Ores or what is it, right? Because ultimately ridges built around, like, we're Partners together for things of Christ and so for me that was the foundation, a lot of people didn't have that or think that direction but for us, that was really the key to laid out. So a lot of people like asked, if he should you live together for he married, you know, save some money, you know, you know, you can fit, you know, test drive the car, right? You hear that all the time, right? And I just feel like that's just the Direction that God would have for you.

40:39 I think that's where you want to go at all. Thank you and honor God. And then, as God brings you together, and then he wants to get married, and then you can learn all you want about Sonny's Body. Come on somebody. Amen. There's ones not wrong one person. There's one guy excited today. That's awesome. There's so many good takeaways from that. And I neglected to mention earlier, you know, like this this whole series and especially today. I mean, if you're not married, if you're not in a relationship man, take some notes. Today, there is so much. Each gold and everything you guys said and one of the takeaways that I got from that that I really enjoyed is like, so many people I think think of relationships is 50/50, but you guys really lined it up it's really a hundred, a hundred, you know, I love how you really do been to like, you know, this is my faith and I'm going this way. I'm pursuing God whether he does or not. I think it's also cool.

41:25 How God honored that and brought you both together so huge, takeaway me and I hope you guys are taking some notes today. That's that's epic. All right. Well, you ready for another all skate? Another. Both of you before we divvy out a little bit, I'm ready. All right, let's do it. Our this for both of you. The next question came in goes it starts off being married is often challenging especially when you were a young married couple and the honeymoon phase wears off. What was your maybe doesn't what was your biggest challenge in your early years of marriage and how did you work through it? She's looking at me. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah. So man there's a lot of challenges, right? I mean honeymoon phase.

42:09 I was thinking like we never left home in Phase. Look at her face. Yeah. That was yeah. You're right. Yeah. That was over so that that ended. No I think honestly like you know we have the typical like you know, we fight we you know she can't keep her hands off me. So that's the kind of fighter off, you know and Y'all know making stuff up now. Right? No, but I do think at the end of the day, I feel like Back Being Young married. Like once you got a honeymoon phase, you start to realize like not my problem was myself, that was the problem. Like I was, I don't know. It was like bad stuff, but it wasn't great stuff like it Plateau. Like the relationship plateaus on me, right?

42:51 And maybe she says, save ourself. But like I did, you get to certain depth in like, you're okay with that. Like, you didn't know any different maybe. And so you start realizing as problems. Even as pressure comes right. As we have foster kids and things happen, like, wow, I've got, I've got to be, there's got to be, there's got to be more of Jesus in me. Like, I got to die to myself a little more like and so patients and all these things character inside myself. And I started realizing as problems would happened that Ultima I'm not being the best solution to the problems, right? And so, I think there's a lot to say about that direction of, really just dined yourself and just asking, God to work through you and learning to listen. Listen, I think was really big. I don't know if that's a spiritual gift that most people are gifted with, you know.

43:34 So I think marriage you start realizing like, hey, I've got a Shepherd her soul and we're both very hard workers were both very independent and I think the word maybe comes to mind is that for most guys and people in general is just stubborn, right? Like I realized like being if I'm going to go where God calls you go, I've got to be open to things of God, more and more patient, more loving, and I was thinking about like, Peter Wright and he goes up to this really is what Jesus will start back on that and Jesus says, hey, I'm going to die. I'll be crucified and killed and raised again and Peter's like, no you're not. And Jesus tells Peter like get thee behind me Satan, right. And Peter's just kind of stubborn and aloof and doesn't know what's going on and Jesus does some very special it's just that later that week he takes up the Inner Circle disciples, you know, Peter James John up to the Mount Transfiguration and the voice of the father.

44:22 Like the glory of God has shown right? Like there's smoke and they just crazy and there's they're hearing the voices. He Elijah the see, Moses up on this mountain. Mountain and they're just afraid, and they're wondering what's going on? Of course. God's voice is like, this, is my son whom I love and they don't quite get what's going on in. Jesus, tells them as they make their way down the mound. He says, hey, I'm going to raised again the third day, the Bible says you guys are like, whoa, so that's like the early years of marriage. Like what? Right. And then Jesus is kind of front of them and they're talking about something that's so interesting. Like, who's gonna be the greatest in heaven? That's the question of talking about. So it's all the glory god in their ask themselves. Well, who's going there because I saw Moses as all Isaiah. So I wonder if I'm to be up there next year, you know? Like I'm over.

45:04 I'll be in the center of this equation. I want to be by all about me, and Jesus didn't overhear like physically, but he heard it and he goes to him and he says we're just talking about and they're awfully quiet, right? And he looked at me said hey if you want to be first and he'd be last and if you know me the grace and the kingdom would be the greatest survey. So I think early on that, that's why I Learned was. You need to serve 100%. 150%. Doesn't matter what some Bells does you doing? God's calling you doing Serving? And Ingrosso. Amen, I was it. That's why I got so, yeah. I think bouncing off of that same idea. It is early in your marriage. It's a period of dying to yourself, you know, following what Jesus calls us to do and saying, like, well, this is how I did it, and this is how I grew up, and this is what I think. And so just there's times of, like, teasing those things out of like, well, what are we going to do in those things? And it's really easy at the beginning, like full, I'm an only child.

45:56 So I never had a roommate till I got married, I guess, College a little bit, but, you know, it's just like, how do you live and share space? And all those practical things, or you have to die to yourself a little bit to come to that full acceptance of somebody else's ways, and things like that. It hurts learning, you know, which, which of these am I going to let go and which ones do I need to talk about? But same as Sean. I think early in our marriage, I really had to take a deep dive into me and how the problems that I was causing can be detrimental to our marriage. So I've shared with lots of Life groups that I've LED. I had Dad pretty deep-seated struggle with insecurities, like, throughout my like college. And, you know, early marriage years that was really at a point that it was debilitating to, some of the relationships that I was in, it was preventing me into entering, into new, you know, deeper relationships with other people in my life.

46:44 Preventing me from really fully trusting that God had brought us together on purpose and that my job was to better me. And to not say that, you know, I needed Sean to do certain things to fill that need inside of me and putting Extra pressure on him to say like well if he can measure up to this and if he can meet this need inside of me, I really had to die to myself and say, no. Only, God can meet that need in me, and if I'm looking for it in him, that's not fair. He's never going to meet, you know, meet that standard of Jesus in my life. And so it was really a transformational time of that in the insecurities from within me, birthed out of me trying to do it on myself, trying to reach a certain Perfection standard, trying to achieve all these things. And then when it wasn't going well, Saying while Shawn needs to you know feed into me and helped me and it was this oh I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough but the start of that sense is always I and me and realizing that that false humility and that false way of looking at life could be a actual absolute killer to our relationship. And so God uses those first couple of years to really transform me to be able to give 100% of myself. And not be, you know, relying on me or Shawn to make our relationship work.

47:57 But on for the kids, Yeah, anything that's just again, gold. Well, Diane will stick with you. This is a straight to you. All right, it says, as a wife and leader for Christ, where do you believe most ladies struggle and their relationships? / marriages, what lessons are Keys. Would you shares to make share to make marriages healthy? Yeah, I think the biggest struggle and maybe not just for ladies, but what I see when I get to talk to women about, you know, relationships is communication. I think so much of the struggles that I have in marriage boil down to communication. And I've identified like two main ways that I've seen this play out in one. This is the one I'm guilty of is under communicating, not talking shutting down having some, maybe some unspoken expectations that I'm not willing to do or like the silent test. You know.

48:49 Like, let me see if he really paid attention to what I said and not. You know, any kind or I have met with some other women in groups, over the years and had friends who it's the opposite where there is overbearing communication. It's over, you know, nagging complaining, I'm always communicating about all the things you're not doing and what I learned in there is a verse, I'll show you the second that just slap me in the face, really, well one time, but that neither way is healthy. And the versus this, I wrote down. So I would but it's a fusions 429, which if you grew up in Churchill, so that's the first not to cuss, that's not true. I mean that's in there, but that's not the big part. So it says, don't use foul or abusive language, but let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

49:35 And I think anybody in a marriage relationship, cannot have to go back too far to. Think about once the time, I said something that wasn't good and helpful you mean today like this morning. Like when and so man filtering, everything that I say and do through that lens of good and helpful photos for Who is like me, who doesn't want to speak up who won't make my needs? Or, you know, things like that known. Then I have to say the things that are good and helpful to keep our relationship together. Maybe if I fall on the other side of that line, like I don't have to say everything that I think everything, I think is not good and helpful to Sean in a marriage and so it's like finding that balance of like I want to my words and my communications job is to be an encouragement to the hearer is what that verse says. So what can I say that is going to Courage him, that sometimes, that's saying hard things.

50:24 Hey, the way you said this or did this, that didn't feel good like, and that's okay. And that is healthy and should happen. But to say it in that way, that it's helpful in an encouragement to him, to be able to grow and change. That's really it. So their keys on that. Is that filter? Good and helpful. You can tattoo that on your arm or whatever you want to do later after the Gathering. Not letting the sun go down on your anger and another verse I thought of and so we hear this verse that I didn't write down the reference. I think it's Proverbs 25:11. It says that like a word. Fitly placed is like apples of gold. I loved I looked it up in the NLT and it said timely advice is like apples of gold. So like the car ride home after Sunday morning isn't the time to be like you know you kind of messed up that whole part of that message. That's not it for our marriage.

51:08 The car ride home on Sundays. Like babe, that was a killer message, you nailed it, it was awesome. People were like coming to Jesus left and right. Like that's that moment if there's something that real girl needs to be addressed, on Monday, we can talk about that then. My job is to be a good and helpful encouragement to him. So those are my tips bits of keys to help well, as time is wrapping down. I do want to give you the floor with the same question from the guy's perspective. So in the interest of time, Sean as a husband, and leader for cries. Where do you believe most men struggle? And what keys do you have? Yeah, so I saw a figure. I mean, the opposite question of Diane apples of gold in the frames of silver. So yeah, I think for For men, it's out. I don't want to say EQ, but which stands for yeah, I'm getting there too.

51:59 Good, bye baby. Good jobs, you, I love you the best, you the man teachers. Tom be helpful. No, like just expressing your emotions and like a helpful way and then recognizing we're somebody else's at emotionally or just recognizing where they're at. At all. One of the great things you do as a leader As You observe, right? And for a husband for a spouse, you know, her for a parent you Of your kids, right? You watch any good coaches watching their team? And part of it is just how to express. What's on your heart, or what? God's saying to you, or like your own failure in a helpful way. Most guys are like that can of soda and they just hold everything in and then just like, boom the explodes. And it's very difficult for guys to express themselves. And so, I think for me, I think the first thing is to have something inside of you that is given by God, that's beyond what your ability is right now.

52:52 I guess we Supernatural. And I don't want to say it's like the wound of the father, right? It's just something you were never shown or you didn't see or didn't happen to you. Their seeds are planted, That Grew bad things. The receives that we're never planted that aren't there and we can sit there and be upset or blame or make excuses or we can say, okay? And replace my understanding of how I do Life by my heavenly father and not just by my Earthly father and that that shoots that's foundational like you're going to give something to somebody. You have to have it first and You're not hard work as a man on the inside. Say. I'm loved it. So I can love. That's big most guys. They will never say, they'll feel they feel abandoned. They feel her. Feel let down to do, major up.

53:34 I'm not good enough. They're fighting to prove themselves and all you do is look up. So heavenly father and say, okay, yes, Jesus, yes, God, you've done it all for me and now I am free. I am, I'm confident. I'm bold. I'm or God calls it. Be, I can give that away to my spouse but if you don't have that, you can't give it and it will become Um, destructive. So I see that quite often, right? I can forgive because Christ forgave me, I still Choose, You may make mistakes because Christ chose me and that is foundational. And that just kind of like coming to end of yourself is like the beginning of coming to God, right? In your relationship is going to show all those cracks and you may have thought you had together. You may not recognize that was a problem, right? That, that wound is been there and so that's one of it and I think another thing that guys will start with husband's is being a spiritual leader in the home.

54:20 See a lot of mom. And women really just bringing their families to church, you know, lead the way spiritually, and I'm like God bless the women right? Come on, right? But as men like we're called to be that for our family were called to be the spiritual leader so we got to get up. And hey, come on guys. Let's follow Christ and be a model of prayer, right? Don't expect anybody else to be any better or healthier than you are. As a man. And so you just say hey I'm on a field full prayer before prayer I want to be family word of God. I'm in the word of God. I want family to forgive, I forgive my family do this, I do that. And so you change your culture and you change your family's culture and it's really fun to watch as God gets ahold of men and in changes their hearts how the whole family starts to change because what guys doing them. So, do you think you guys for your wisdom on those really cool to hear both your perspectives?

55:12 Well, this is the last question and this is again back to the all skate. This is for both of you, the very last one, you guys are about 15 years into marriage, right? So, I love all this is worded. It says, if you are to make it another 50s, ha ha. Let's change that to when people when you make it another, 15 years Ambien, how do you plan to keep your relationship fresh? I mean, where do you go from here? We've kind of talked about how you've done it in the past but like, where does this next chapter go? How do you keep a candle burning and not just coexist float or grow apart? I can say, the first thing would be to keep it real. So, real intimacy, real relationships come. I'm out of vulnerability and so being able to you know, bear myself and my dreams and my desires and all those things to Sean is going to help us to move forward as we continue to grow in each other.

56:04 The second one is to keep laughing. I think are there was something besides God our relationship to be founded on. I'd probably be humor and there is a just a lot of moments where you get to have, like a full-on belly laugh, and that is something that really what it teaches you is not to take yourself, too, seriously to have a short memory Three of your failures to be able to laugh when things don't go the way you thought they were going to. And just say, you know what, well, that tomorrow is another day. We get to move forward from that. Yeah, thing that just didn't go the way it was, but that being, you know, quick to be a solution quick to offer help laughing through that time and then keep dreaming, I think it's something that's really big. If you're talking about the freshness of your relationship, like I think in God's word, it always says that God is.

56:46 He's doing a new thing, he's making a new song. He's and I think inside of our relationships, we get to model God in that way. Way and God will give us new things or that you know that we hadn't thought of or maybe he's speaking something to him that we can champion and celebrate together. And so when you let each other enter into your dreams in that way, and those god-given dreams and things, he's called you to like something really cool happens that he God is in it. Don't get a dream separately from Sean. Now, we're together, we're one flesh. And so, letting opening that up to him and letting him being able to open that up to me, is just so key to keeping him fresh, keeping you keep laughing, keep laughing. Yeah, Dad, I love to travel. I'm not much of a traveler but she drags you along, you know, a couple months ago. She's like, hey, when we get to Kenya I'm like, what when we going to Kenny?

57:34 Again, you know, just it's on our hearts on my heart. You know? I think I like to question their like if at some level because you're not really guaranteed 15 years, you know? And by God's grace, like I see a lot of guys just get become about themselves, they just make it about them. So selfish, just think I'm over it and they walk away and somebody's not willing to do this. And I see a lot of ministry couples. I think we saw a stat there. They said there's like 40 percent of marriages like her fault part in the ministry. I mean, just, there's just so many traps, you know, there's so many quicksands for everybody. And so, I like the Riff and then it had a, I always try to keep in perspective that my time is a gift, right?

58:18 And so, like, I might not be here tomorrow, you know, I mean, so, Even if it ends like okay death, do us part right it. So, I'm looking, like, kids, you Undead, give it all today, you know, guess if I'm not there because I'm not guaranteed of anything. It's so I just kind of try to keep that like number your days perspective especially in your marriage like not going to bed upset right now the sun go down on your wrath and not to if you don't say something then you chose to forgive it. The my opinion, if you're going to go to bed on, be better than you have to create, you have to forgive and move on. That's, that's a choice, you make. And so just like, Starting to clean slate every day. I think really helps. You know what's it matter to you? Is it worth it? I also think about, like, are you going to lose all this, you know?

59:01 So like if I'm gonna do something dumb or start pursuing a direction, or look at something, or just not care. Did you, did you weigh that out in your mind before you started that? So I just start, moving away from things that are destructive to my life. So I'm not going to find habits or hobbies that take me away from her all the time. So I don't have a guys night like, I love you all, you know. Just just on me. So I might I'm super valuables on this bill and family night, you know. So we do family move and I and we do all the stuff and I just can't spoil the kids to you know and but also think the day like if you're going to make it the 15 years and we're God's going to call you to go the question it wasn't for me. Like how do you keep it fresh? I think the question would be, how do you keep it fruitful?

59:43 You know like fresh kind of goes away, you know, you get enough, you know, laps around the track you know you don't have all the feelings all the time. You know, all these things but it isn't fruitful, right? And we like fruitful come. All. Somebody be fruitful and multiply right. You won't have both. Right? Depends. But I think fruitful for like, is a proof for kids. It, are we together producing the things of God? I'll are we together? Make an impact? Our community. We make an impact in our family are we are we together on Mission and we're producing things that grow its a four dozen you plant it and grows on its own. So are we like Sending vessel.

1:00:23 So the day like I'm less concerned about like a fad or a feeling, as you know, those are going to come and go and he loved all the feelings, right? And you do things for that. And I talked about some stuff you can spice it up, right? But the daily, something that sustains its fruit and they were major buyer fruit. You know, we're measuring stuff that survives the fire being burned and what the works of God were so the day. Like that's that's we're fighting for, you know, to be fruit berries for the cause of Christ. And so I think just sitting on that is way. Has way more longevity. They were God wants us to be than just chasing the feeling. So. Well, as we wrap up here, I just want to say to Sean and Diane and I think you guys would Echo be in this. Just thank you guys for your leadership and just leading this church.

1:01:08 Well, I know we appreciate you guys being an open book. I can't imagine, you know like just kind of, you know, the butterflies but I just get to ask the questions. I just gives you the messenger, you know, but you guys are so glad you didn't pick any crazy questions. Drew. I do not like they're also people It's either swipe a couple of them were either fight against myself to do that Shawn, but I do keep it, you know, a little mature. Thanks for down yourself, through this one time. No, but no seriously you guys, you guys leave this church. Well, and I just love knowing that when or if things get hard like, you know, my own relationship. I've got you guys on speed dial. You guys model that you guys model for us how to communicate with our spouses you guys model for us.

1:01:52 Just seeking him first, and knowing that that's the anchor that in the foundation that any relationship will be built upon. So I know, I appreciate it. I know I'm echoing. What? They're thinking right now as well. And just again, just we appreciate everything. You guys have done this morning. So can we give it up for Sean and Diane for Jake and Jesus being real with us man. Thank you guys. I tell you, man. One of the Highlights today, Sean talked about early, you know, during the dedication, you know, just really at the heart of every answer. Whether it was said or not, is all of this works because the Lord was in it, right? And just this idea that as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord and we got to see these families. Make that decision today with their kids up here, just declaring putting that I love this imagery. So I'm going to I've been saying it all morning, I keep saying it putting that stake in the ground. Right.

1:02:46 Even without putting at stake in the ground for your family. And just saying, you know, we might have been doing other things before today, but as of this moment, lead my house. We're going to serve the Lord, my marriage, our marriage. We're going to serve the Lord together. We're going to be on Mission together and I just, man, I know there's so many stories in this room and there's so many seasons that people are going through. And we've spent a lot of time. On marriages and all that good stuff. But me and I'm telling you, there's something for you, whatever season you're in, you might be young and never married and that's way off in the future to smartest thing, you'll do, you'll never regret taking notes.

1:03:32 Now, you'll never regret coming up with a game plan. Now you'll never regret looking back that you decided to get your relationship rock-solid with the god that loves you. Heaven and be confident in yourself before you're ready to pour out into someone else. You'll never regret that and I hope you hear that today. And there's there's other people to there's people that they're walking through a season of singleness and he didn't want to do you know what I mean? I'm sorry, Emma. I'm saying I don't mean to Bubble up here, but they're walking through a season that they never thought they'd be in, it's not fair, right?

1:04:18 It just, it feels that way. And God, I hope that you're just, you're taking notes and you're just, you know, taking a season to heal and just getting ready for what God has next kind of say to you. God's not done with that story, yet, it's not done. God's got something for you. You're not broken, you're not. What's in the past is in the past. Me and God has got something for you today. And I just want you to know that just like we lifted up these families. We lift you up today. We're behind, you were for you. God's got something for you. I don't, I can't tell you how long, the season last sir or anything like that, but you don't have to be a perfect picture as Godly marriage to be loved by God. I hope you leave here.

1:05:08 Knowing Man, I just I want to just take a moment and I want every I and every eye to close every head bowed and we're just going to go before God today and just I just want to lift you guys up everyone in this room. I just want to say, father God, thank you for this morning and thank you for again just for Shawna Diane just opening up and God just how much you've bless their marriage and that you've just empowered them to be an open book. You you've put relationships, you've put people's hearts, you put people's Souls on their hearts and he brought them together. God and it and all those years ago that that decision to launch a new church to take that step of faith has led to this moment.

1:05:56 We're so many Souls, mine included, Holly's included, we just you led us here. And God hear you're a fighting Us in the fire. You're growing Us in this season, God and just just can't wait to see what happens next. Is we just continue to reach his community, but we also know that, as we're reaching out, we have to reach and God, just thank you for the challenge today for the wisdom and just help us not to just say. Oh man, that was cute. That was cool to hear their story and all that stuff, help us to find. The nuggets of wisdom in there and help us to do something about it.

1:06:37 God, that's the hardest step. It's so easy to nod and just be like, yeah, man, that's a good word, Sean yeah, man died. And that was, that was so so smart, and it's so hard to do it. Got so I pray, you'll give us the courage today that you'll give us the boldness to do that. God, there's there's relationships in this room, there's relationships online. That are rocky that things haven't communication. Has it been strong? We talked about that stubbornness that eats us up as guys we don't show our emotions, we don't communicate. And we've been, there's people have been paddling God, I pray, you will soften Hearts today. I pray that you will just be able to let us look at our spouse.

1:07:27 Look at our partner and open up in a way that we haven't before or that we have it in a really long time. God, I lift up anyone in this room for any reason that's walking through a season of singleness. Because of their youth because of reasons beyond their control, God poor it to them. Let them feel your presence this morning in this week not alone there loved by you strengthen them. Refine them in this season we just pray whatever their next step in the journey is God, but they'll be so in tune with you. it doesn't matter because they're who they are their fullness, their Oneness is found God, we just, we pray for broken hearts this morning and we pray for broken families and we just we pray for miracles.

1:08:32 We pray for change. Really at the end of it. God, we pray that your will be done. And we pray that we'll have the strength to just remember that everything that's happened. It's because you got you were in. So if you're here, keeping your eyes closed, your head bowed. If if you're ready to put that stake in the ground today and say I'm ready to have that conversation, I'm ready to open up the lines of communication things have been tough but I'm ready to get back on the right track. I'm ready to get myself right with God as I prepare. My heart for this. Next relationship is next. It is, I strengthen my marriage as I commit to, to walking and leading with my walking with and leading my family in the season. God, I just pray that everyone in this room, who wants to do that, but you'll just raise your hand and just boldly declare, we're not looking at you.

1:09:22 No one's going to see but God, We're proud of you. God, I just pray over these families who are these people and that you will just be with that. And the next thing I want to get to you though is maybe before you do any of this stuff, we've been talking about. Maybe you don't have that relationship with Jesus yet. Maybe you've heard the story, you have some kind of concept of who he is and and what he's done, but you're not there yet. Kind of say that like the words of that song he is for you today. He loves you and he wants a relationship with you. He sent his son, Jesus to die on the cross and to rise again, he conquered death.

1:10:04 So we don't have to so we can be with him forever and and if it's time for you, before any of this other stuff, just to put that stake. The ground and say, you know, I'm not leaving this room the way that I came in. I'm not leaving this room apart from you, any longer God, if you're ready to do that, I just want you to raise your hand and just let him know that you're ready to do that today. Get every eyes closed. Every heads bowed. I want you to pray a prayer with me, if that's you now online or here the room, and it's not the prayer that saves you. It's just, it's just that next Step 4, but I want you to pray with me and just say, dear Jesus.

1:10:47 I'm sorry. Sorry, it took me so long to get here. Sorry for my sin, forgive me of my sin, I Repent of everything that I've done. That's led up to now. God and I leave that in the past and I knowingly walk towards you and into your Open Arms. I know you love me. God. I know you sent your son Jesus. I know he died for me. He rose again. And I know that I live with him. I give my life to you. I'm married. I get my marriage to you if I have kids, I give my kids to you, my family just old me's done.

1:11:29 It hasn't gotten me very far. I'm ready to put it all in with you, God and I'm ready to leave here changed. I love you, God and I just thank you for your forgiveness in Jesus name. Alright guys, well, let's give it a big for anybody who made that decision today. Let's welcome him into the fold. Awesome. Minute, the statue today in today's the day, you chose God first because he's pursuing, you can we delay? You know that we're all in for you is the reason we show up here every week because we're looking for people that are making decisions because we know God's pursuing people. So, if that's you today, I've got a couple great next steps. First one is let us know about your decision by texting RL.

1:12:11 Next 29. 7000, what we'll do is we'll have one of our team members reach out to you over the phone. Hold jobs. You connected here. Help you in any way that we can just get your resource we care about you. God cares about you. Number two, is if you're with us in person, on your way, out of the worst, The center, there's a red bag, grab one of those inside. There's a Bible, what a great way. What a great Next Step. Just to get started off on the right foot. We want you to have that, there's other great resource resources in there, so grab those on your way out. Yeah, we were so excited for you. I love how Pastor is Sean and Diane talked about choosing today to serve the Lord, putting God first. Well, that's in your marriage, your kids, your relationships marriages, just anything and everything. So for you guys, I've got a couple great next steps for you as well. Maybe guys, put something on your heart today. Maybe you've been looking for And maybe realize the one and you want to know a little more about it. So I want you to know there's a special opportunity this afternoon.

1:13:00 We got a special course called crash course. We'd love to have you come out, you can get signed up two days from two to four Thirty right here at our Hope Center bill will help you lead through the path of knowing god finding Freedom discovering purpose and knowing that you can make a difference. What that looks like here maybe a real life so come check us out, we'd love to have you sign up, you won't be alone. It would be a great time. Come hang out with this. Number two is this, if you've committed your life, Life to Christ. Since the last time we did baptism, we were going to have a very special Easter Sunday on April. The 9th. We would love for you to be a part of it. Baptism is the next step. If you give me your your life to Christ, it is simply just telling the world to that weird Edison were alive to God and we want everybody to know it. In fact, it's really, it's one of the last Commandments that Jesus gave us to go out and into the world and preach and teach and to baptize people in the name of the father Son and the Holy Spirit.

1:13:50 So we would love to have you a part of that. You can sign up online. For that very special Sunday. If you've ever been a part of our baptisms, you are missing out. It is, a party is exciting. We will tell your story. We'll just wrap our arms around you. We would love to have you a part of that. Last is this last step is this choosing guide means choosing God daily. It's not something we do once a week. Once a month, we to a daily. The one of the great ways that we do that here is being a in downloading, something called the YouVersion Bible app. If you haven't done that, do it today, do it right now. Pull out your phone because on the universe. The Bible like you have access to so many different translations, you have part of God's word, but on top of that, you can go back and you can follow along either during a gathering to the sermon that Sean's bringing and you can take notes and at the end of the notes, there's also a section called talk it over.

1:14:38 It's a section that we use in staff meetings at life groups. It's a great way to reconnect with what God's LED. Our trust has to go through that followings or that previous Sunday. So download that today it's a great way just to choose daily. What God's got for you to be a part of that? Let you guys know that your generosity makes a difference week in and week out and you guys don't know all the stories of everybody that comes in or if people are on stage, but I cannot tell your generosity is what God is using to help break additions to help heal marriages, you guys play a part of that. So thank you so much for being generous and being faithful to God in that way. Can I let you know if you're new to real life? This isn't isn't for you. We don't want anything from you. We want something for you, but if you call a real iPhone, there's still three ways that you can connect to generosity here.

1:15:23 The first is by going online at Real Life Church. Kc.com number two, you can texting him out, eight, four three, two, one, or if you want to use cash or cheque, there's a giving box at the back of the Worship Center or you can drop in the bucket says they pass. Lastly, is these buckets pass. As always, if you or your family, find yourself in need of immediate food clothing or shelter, please reach in and grab any loose cash. If you see in just tell a family in this time of need, hey, we've got an exciting opportunity coming up this summer. It's a missions trip. Take the second. Check out this video. God can do amazing things through your life this summer, traveling to Colombia with real life and so maybe you're thinking, what would we do there?

1:16:07 Who are we going to reach who? What kind of people are we going to see? So I want you to take a minute or so and check out an awesome video that gives you just a little glimpse of what God might do in your life this summer when you go to bed. Guitar Colombia with us. Check it out. That's a wrap.

1:18:08 What an incredible time we had. And I know God is going to do exceedingly more this year as we travel to Colombia. So, there is one more chance next Sunday, immediately following the second gathering for you to come to an information, meeting to learn more about our trip to Bogota. So I want to see you there next Sunday, right? After the second Gathering or come find me if you want. Some more information about our trip to Colombia God's going to do amazing things through you this summer and I can't wait to see you again. He's never had the opportunity to see how God moves in another part of the world.

1:18:48 Can I tell you that this mission trip is for you. So, if you have even this much interest level, because you just want to know something about it, get connected with Diane. Check out the meeting this week. You won't be disappointed. We would love to have you part of that. Hey, if you guys need prayer for no reason, we would love to have you up here. Also be ready as Dianne brings a message. Of encouragement next week, as we end our relationship Series. So don't miss out that next week. And as you guys are headed out, always remember that, whoever finds Jesus covers real life and purpose. So you guys next week,